[crazed-driver]

How long was it after your engagement did he start to behave this way? Anyway I think if he’s not cheating, he’s keeping his options wide open by flirting, exchanging photos, etc and being extremely disrespectful. Did you question your mates when you found out about it? Personally if my gf acted like this, I’ll finish with her on the spot, I wouldn’t even think twice and if my “mates” take her side over mine or lied to me, then I’d ditch them too.

[crazed-driver]

April.Is it me or have you said that I have given great advice on more than one occasion 😕. Maybe we should split the profit that you make when writing your books, etc? 😉 😆

Anyway back to this I think that nice guys DO finish last and the only way the “Nice Guy” can win/get out of this pattern is not by faking confidance as that can only get you so far. But go and achieve all of your goals in life and when you’ve more or less done that as by then you’ll be full on confidance and feel like you can tak on any task, try celebrating and inviting a few people somewhere and throughout that day/night. Make small steps into getting to know her and then ask her out. From then on you’ll have the confidance to do what you want to do in certain situations with her and the worse thing that can happen is inexperiance/nerves will kick in just before you start the date or maybe whilst on it. But then i recommend asking a mate or if you want to ask a stranger then ask april on how to beat these nerves when on a date.

[crazed-driver]

In aprils defence it says on her homepage that she is brutal and gets straight to the point. Which is why at first I was annoyed with her as she did the same in my first post, but now I see her differently. And what you said about going out with another girl, I suggest you don’t tell that girl its a date and your out as mates and tell the one you’re out with that you’re out as mates, but you see how it goes. You’re right about not pawning for either of them, etc as that just leads to even more hurt. I suggest you take the girl out that you like after taking this one out. Then basically go for in when out on the date and if she rejects you for any reason, then you know its not meant to be.

[crazed-driver]

I got to agree and disagree with Aprils post. I disagree that you need confidance, etc as you’ve made a move by trying to kiss her several times right? So you don’t need confidance. You just need to let her know you like her, you tried asking her out on a date? I do agree with April when she said that Nice guys do finish last, so try not to be available for her all the time or go to her rescue and when she asks you to an event or to do her a favour, make sure you say no as much as you yes. Then she knows you are not a pushover. I’ve know all my life I’m one of these, so I know from personal experiance that they do finish last and when possible you need to show you’ve got some backbone and you don’t say yes to her/everyone all the time.

[crazed-driver]

I think that these types of feelings are there for a reason. Its up to you to find out what they are and address them. For example, are you happy with your looks and how you dress, are you happy with the way your career goals are going? Think of all the things that you need in your life to make you happy apart from your boyfriend. Whether its changing your looks/appearance/the way you act/achieving career goals, or your general lifestyle. Then I’m sure when you’ve thought of all the things that you’re happy with and change the things that need changing these feelings will go. Plus while your doing this, go and do something fun that you haven’t done for a while/before with a few mates.

[crazed-driver]

So is this weird/strange/considered as stalking and what about if you do it if you just know their name because everyone is so casual in the workplace? For example i mean a regular customer (so regular he sees all the staff in that area) adding them to facebook.

[crazed-driver]

[quote=”April Masini”]You got some great advice from everyone!

I agree with [b]MarMarie[/b] who wrote that there is no way you can fix this guy. Your wanting to figure out why he does what he does is part of YOUR problem. Unless you’re the SPCA, you shouldn’t be taking in stray dogs. This man is riddled with serious problems, and you can’t fix them. What you can fix, however, is your own problem.

If a man hits you, as [b]desperate for advice[/b] posts, he is being abusive. Anytime ANYONE hits you, you should call the police. You need protection — but so does he. He needs help to stop hurting people (and himself at the same time). Obviously, because he’s done this to you multiple times, he’s not going to stop unless there is some intervention.

You need to do what [b]crazed-driver[/b] suggests: [b][/b] change your number and delete his from your phone. YOU need to eliminate him from your life and stop looking to men who are abusive for love. Anyone who hits you isn’t an appropriate partner to say the least.

Enlist the help of family and friends to get you out of this relationship — and then stay out of this one, and any other that is as abusive.

I hope that helps. Please let us all know how things go.

And join me on Facebook — I’d love to have you there. Here’s that link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=110265355684755&ref=mf[/url].[/quote]

Can you not delete that please as its nice to hear from an expert that they aree/say i’m right on things, which doesnt happen often 😥 😥 😆

[crazed-driver]

So how does it work. I add you as a friend and if i want to know anything, i just send you a messege to your inbox, etc? Is there a differance to between this site and adding you on there?

[crazed-driver]

He doesn’t love you. The minite he raised his hand to you, you should have worked that out 😕 As for his cheating that just shows that he aint ready to settle down yet and he doesn’t love you enough reguardless of what he says. He starts arguements/the lies so its an excuse for you to split up with him and he can do what he wants as he knows despite what he does, you will take him back. This only makes him feel like he has more power and eventually make you look and feel bad. Its a well known fact that if you leave him and avoid all contact with him and make sure he can’t contact you in the meantime. Delete his number and change your number, then tell you friends and family about him and say you want nothing to do with him, etc. And if your friends/family welcome him in with open arms or evem try to get you back with him then obviously they need to be out of your life too. In the meantime though, go out and enjoy yourself doing varied activities and in the meantime, see if you can make some close guy mates. (Make a few as you may think they’re the next one for you, etc). Then you’ll meet a guy who will have the same beliefs/interests as you as you would have done various of things together that you enjoyed doing anyway when you were out with your currents friends.

[crazed-driver]

Which has given me an idea. If you joined dating sites as well as social sites. Then the members on here will increase a lot and more people will be aware of you and your site.

[crazed-driver]

Well my point was that today I was in work and one of the bosses in my workplace said can this colleague join you/do your job for 10 minites as it was part of their job interview. Anyway when as she was finishing I had to fill in a form, saying how good she was, etc. Well as I was doing that I happened to catch her full name. So if I added her on a social website, does that make me a stalker? The reason why I wanted to do this is because during the quiet spells when no one was around, we started talking about the job and the problems of it, etc as well as having a very brief banter towards another colleague and we were laughing, non stop. Plus she seemed friendly towards everyone which is a bonus. So here’s my question, if I added her on a site, would that be considered stalking/weird?

[crazed-driver]

Because I can take it. Some people might not be able to though

[crazed-driver]

It is a compliment. But I think you can be a bit too brutal. Even though its a good thing, sometimes you can go overboard. I also think that if more people shared there experiances, etc. They’ll be less people like me around and the world would be a happier place and by that I mean, people can take their experiances as well as your opinion on board and follow it exactly.

[crazed-driver]

Ok, here’s another suggestion for you, stop being brutal towards the people who work on here 😆 I know this your site, etc. But it would be nice to have more people of your expertise to post regularly on here.

[crazed-driver]

I know that is true about my mates. And its hard meeting new people, etc as I’m more introvert than an extrovert type of person, so I like me to meet someone mutually. Oh and they don’t get with the same woman, they just finish with their gf’s, have a “fling”, then go back to them. Which makes me feel like I can’t get with the one they had the fling or even with their ex gf/gf and as because most of my mates do this, it feels like there isn’t an available, nice girl out there 😕.

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