[crazed-driver]

I’m more or less exactly in the same position as you, only that’s the reason why I’m single. How old are you?

[crazed-driver]

That age gap isn’t an issue in my opinion, you shouldn’t let that bother you or let it affect your relationship. However there could be a slight cause for concern that she hooked up with someone when you were dating each other.

[crazed-driver]

I sort of agree and disagree at the same time with April on this 😕. Do you mean feeding as in making her food or actually feeding her? If its making her food I think there’s nothing wrong with it and your girlfriend has some issues. So you need to talk to her, etc. If you’re actually feeding her then your version of playing around can be mistaken for love. So if you do that I suggest you STOP it if it upsets your girlfriend. If I read Aprils post right about not socialising with other women. Then I think she’s wrong as its more or less asking you to choose your girlfriend over your friend. Anyone that asks you to choose one over the other shouldn’t be and isn’t your true friend or girlfriend.

[crazed-driver]

I thought by changing behaviour. You meant, act a certain way, etc. Not change your hobbies.

[crazed-driver]

I believe a cheat is ALWAYS a cheat and these sort of features in a person never change. However I think if you’ve been together for a long time and in a long term relationship and by that I mean 20 years or something like that then in extreme circumstances someone can cheat/have a short affair and it’ll be a one off and things can be worked out between them, even though most people/victims won’t try to work it because of the hurt, etc. And I seriously doubt your relationship is that strong as you’ve already admitted you broke up after a few years anyway.

[crazed-driver]

Well when I said the 2nd thing I needed help with and that you were brutal towards me in that forum. I was on about this forum http://www.askapril.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=1&t=34838 And also how do you manage to keep up and reply towards every form thats created,etc?

I have tried to do what you said about going to different places, etc. But its either quiet due to the place being unpopular or I dont know what to say as they’re strangers 😕 Saying that though, do you think i need to cure my original problem first, that i just mentioned above?

[crazed-driver]

Of course you’d agree with it as its complimenting you 😆

[crazed-driver]

Firstly I’ve got to say, (even though I don’t know you or never spoken to you before), he’s an extremly lucky guy. Having a woman that’s doing all the worrying/chasing and he’s not even 100% ready to be with you. Anyway back to your problem. Well I’m not 100% sure of what to do if I was you, so you’ll have to wait for April to post or more members. The only thing I would recommend is stop dating/seeing this guy all together and if when he’s ready to be with you, he’ll get in touch with you. Tell him you’ll give him space to figure out what he wants and when he knows when that is, tell him to give you a call, even if its a negative response. So you can both get on with things and be friends, etc. And while you’re giving him space, don’t hang around. Go out and enjoy life and if someone comes along so be it, but if someone does come along, don’t let the other guy who you’ve given space to being your excuse to not seeing that person.

[crazed-driver]

I don’t 100% with that. Well just the bit about going to these parties as going somewhere that you don’t enjoy will only make you sad and you don’t want her to see that do you? Maybe offer her to meet up before/afterwards. Maybe you can plan it, so you share a lift home/or going out to wherever it is you’re going and even plan it, so you end up going to where she is with your mates without her even knowing. She’ll porbably ask you and your friends to join her. That way you both see everything each other has to offer and when after a few times, then ask her out properly or even make a move/gesture. Remember though, laughter is key to winning her round.

[crazed-driver]

Typical woman here (on about April here), going on and on, lol. But I do agree with her totally. She could have cut all that down to just saying: Focus on your husband and sort out your problems, go to therapy if needed. Failing that divorce him and take time out from men altogther. Affairs happen for a reason, but I’m not going to explain it unless someone asks why they do, but it obvious.

[crazed-driver]

So even though it maybe harder to deal with in real life. I’m right? I have 2 problems, none can be helped with. 1 is I’m addicted to this site 😕 HELP ME 😆 And the other one was what I posted on here, which you were brutal to me about, remember the anxiety forum? Plus I keep meeting women who are “No go areas” for one reason or another

[crazed-driver]

If you like her that much and you do go to meet the family. Try letting the family know how much you like her, etc. Otherwise you’d jus fall into the friends category and thats how the family will see you as. You should go out as mates with other girls, but dont tell her what they are to you,m unless she asks you out straight. Then see how she reacts. If she reacts calmly, shes not that into you.

[crazed-driver]

I think and feel the same way as you do. However I feel more people should post more on the site and not just about their problems, but replying to other peoples problems too.

[crazed-driver]

I agree completely with april on this. I couldn’t have worded it better myself. However I don’t agree with the fact that its your fault that you attract these types of guys, but it is your fault if you stay with them after you find out about them disrespecting/cheating on you, etc. I know you can’t help who you fall for before you get with them, but try and fall for a differant type of guy, who you wouldn’t normally looks twice at. Not only is it a differant approach, but you’ve done it the other way a lot and it hasn’t worked has it. Plus it gives that other guy a chance to be with a woman who will appreciate him being nice to her as they’re are a lot of women who don’t, despite the fact they say they do.

[crazed-driver]

To cut it short. You want a relationship, she doesn’t. She wants to “hook up” with randoms, you want a relationship. She doesn’t want to stop seeing you completely and you feel the same. Therefore all I can think of here is, stop dating her, but see her just as often as mates. Go out with other women as mates, but don’t let her know that they are mates unless she asks you direct because if she asks, it shows she does want a relationship with you. At the moment it sounds like she’s leading you on and keeping her options open at the same time and by asking you to visit her family, it seems that she either sees you as a very close friend, but she’s getting her feelings confused or she wants you as a bf in the future, but wants her familys approval first. I could be completely wrong, would love to see Aprils and other peoples views about this.

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