[relationshipa1]

Hello, I’m in a relationship for 2 months and my boyfriend and I are still learning each other. I think he may see things more naively than me. He recently went out for drinks with a former female co-worker he hadn’t seen in 5 years but they are Facebook friends. She is single, and has seen that he has me as his new girlfriend. She requested to meet with him and so they met for drinks for a couple hours. He told me all about it before hand and again on that day too he let me know of the time they were meeting, and he also texted me when he was leaving and called a couple hours later and we chatted as we sometimes do. I take it they hung out from 6-8pm. After I found out the details that they had drinks and that she’s single and telling him about her recent dating experience that didn’t go anywhere, I figured that this woman was intentionally being an intruder and being of rude behaviour… to wait 5 years and now that this man has a girlfriend, to ask to meet up with him. And, I felt that he should have known better that this is probably not ethical to do, especially going out for drinks. At least, I should have been invited. Am I right or am I wrong? This has been disturbing me. Even if it was innocent on her part, (and I know it was on his) she still had no place or right to meet him for drinks knowing he has a girlfriend and for him to go thinking it’s probably no big deal. Why do I have to feel like a bad cop to him, if I say something he won’t see it my way maybe.
Thank you very kindly for your time!

[crazed-driver]

I don’t see a problem with him meeting her either. As you said earlier she used to work with him. Its like saying one of your mates at work leave and move elsewhere and you see him a few years later and wanted to have a catch up with him. If she behaved badly when they were out, then you would have a point.And maybe you weren’t invited as when you have a catch up, no one else is normally invited. I think that you suggest to your bf that all 3 of you should do something. Then while/after your out, maybe you’ll know what her intentions are.

[April Masini]

I agree with [b]crazed-driver[/b]. You’re worrying over nothing. Quit being the “bad cop” — in fact, quit being any kind of cop. You don’t need to be. Your boyfriend had drinks with an old friend or work colleague who happens to be single and female. He did everything in his power to let you know what he was doing, when he was leaving, etc. In the course of a long term relationship he’ll be placed in plenty of tempting situations and HIS behavior is what counts. It doesn’t sound like he betrayed you in any way.

If he continues to meet up with you without her on any kind of regular and frequent basis, then I think you’d have something to think about, but as you’ve written it, I think this was a harmless social encounter that you should be glad he wanted you to know about rather than hide.

I hope that helps — and that you’ll join me on AskApril.com on Facebook at this link: [url]http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=110265355684755&ref=mf[/url]. 🙂

[Anonymous]

Thank you so much, I appreciate it!

[April Masini]

I’m always happy to help! But I didn’t see you on Facebook! Come on! Join me!! 😀 [url]http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=110265355684755&ref=mf[/url].

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