Dear April,
I met a guy online. He is handsome and rough around the edges, kind of hostile, aggressive and almost demeaning in the way he spoke and expressed himself. He lives in Atlanta, I in Tampa. He told me to Google him, and I saw he is married, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt, and agreed to drive to meet him. He was even better looking in person, but he was intoxicated and he had on a wedding band, but insisted he was not married. We went to a hotel and had a sleep over sex date. He left in the morning, saying he would return to bring me something to eat. He never came back. I called him numerous times, and even drove by his business where we argued, and he refused to give me gas money. I finally drove home, and did some research. He was 13 years married with two kids. I called his wife, who said, ”I hope he used a condom or you get an AIDS test.” I freaked out. He finally told me to stop calling him, and his wife refused my FB request. I feel like such a fool. What happened?
Signed,
Date Ghosted.
Dear Date Ghosted,
I think you need a couple of black and white ground rules. So, here they are:
1: Do not have sex on the first date. Ever. Get to know the man first. I’m guessing you didn’t use protection. You should count yourself lucky to be alive. What happened to you was bad, but it could have been a lot worse. Use protection, always.
2: If a guy is wearing a wedding band, he’s married. Don’t second guess.
3: If you don’t pay attention to number two, for Pete’s sakes, don’t call his wife, or contact her on social media. Believe me, she knows everything. You’re not the first or last person to sleep with him outside his marriage. You’re mad at yourself, don’t take it out on her or others.
4: Never drive out of state to meet a guy from the internet for a first date. If he’s not willing or able to come to you, to have a first date in a public place, find someone in your own area code to date.
These four rules will improve your life immensely!
